Why does my boyfriend shut me down when arguing?

Unintentional stonewalling: Sometimes stonewalling is a learned response that partners use to cope with difficult or emotional issues. People who stonewall may do so to avoid escalating a fight or to avoid discussing an uncomfortable topic. They also might be afraid of their partner’s reaction.

What causes someone to shut down emotionally?

Depression and anxiety are two of the most common causes. Severe levels of acute elevated stress or nervousness can also trigger feelings of emotional numbness. Post-traumatic stress disorder, which can be tied to depression and anxiety, can cause you to feel numb, too. Some medications can also cause numbness.

What does it mean when your partner shuts down during arguments?

It’s no secret that every couple has healthy disagreements on occasion. Sometimes, however, arguments in relationships can a deeper meaning beneath them. For example, if your partner appears distant and seems to “shut down” during arguments, it could be a sign that the relationship is on the rocks.

What does it mean when your partner refuses to talk?

When your partner refuses to talk out a conflict with you, “It often indicates that there is a lot of resentment and at least one partner feels like there is no point in even addressing their hurt/frustration,” Richardson says.

Is it bad if your partner takes a break after an argument?

While your partner taking a second to regroup after an argument is not a huge deal, take note if they say they need to go away for a bit after, to get some space. Having distance is necessary for all couples, but taking an indefinite break from the relationship can be cause for worry.

What to do when your partner shuts down during a conversation?

If their responses are too short or uninformative, ask open-ended questions, such as: “Can you tell me more about what you think/feel?” or “I’m sure you have some concerns too, and I would love to hear them.” Do not interrupt your partner when they speak, hard as that might be to do, as interruptions are one of the most common causes of shutdowns.